Mid-study break.

Right.

I’ve got a test tomorrow morning which consists of MCQs and 2 case studies relating to what I’ve been training for the last 3 weeks. Whoop dee doo.

In short, I’m panicking just a little. As I always seem to do when it comes to exams. And especially when it comes to exams, I start blogging excessively. Probably good for my readers who finally think that I’ve come back to life.

A few things have been going on as of late which tend to stress me out a lot more than I care to really elaborate on. But again, in short, the end result of it is that I REALLY hate love songs right now.

I honestly should head back to studying but good music is playing on iTunes, just because I feel the silence and the occasional hum of the air-conditioning isn’t really enough for my sanity. And I thought that I really should use up the pictures that I’ve taken recently. So here’s a little caption.

Picture above is taken from the huge glass windows of the 9beach bar which is conveniently located about 50 metres away from the apartments where my colleagues and I are staying in at present. We get to see the sunset on the days where we aren’t forced to stay until after dark where my colleagues will sit around sipping a Carlsberg and make fun of me sipping an alcopop just because I can’t handle my alcohol very well.

The Holy Land has been a lot of fun, apart from the nearly backbreaking workload and the fact that I sometimes feel as though my instructors are trying to find another way to skin me alive. Honestly, they’re not that bad but the thing is, they know so much and I feel at times, I’m kind of underperforming. So I’m not quite meeting expectations and I think knowing that I’m not quite doing as well as I possibly can, I’m probably putting a bit more pressure on myself than necessary. But I think that’s just me.

Mmm.

I feel lost, really. I’m not quite sure what I want, where I hope to go, what I want to be. Everyone tells me that Its important to find something that makes me happy but sometimes, happyness isn’t everything. And Lord knows, how much I tell people that as long as they are happy, the means doesn’t matter. But you know how sometimes, when in doubt, you keep walking? It’s a bit like running, I think. As long as you don’t stop to walk and you keep moving your feet and placing them down one after another, you’ll get there, eventually. Wherever that is.

And I guess even if the location isn’t exactly ideal, at least you get somewhere. And for me, at the moment, my ideal is to keep a grip on my job and not flunking training. Head back to Merlion City. Make it back for Ceroc Workshops. Then wait. And wait. And wait. And pray that I’m not being a fool. Because I think this morning was good reason to think that I’ve been the biggest fool of my life for the past 6 years.

Fin.