Daydreaming Dancer: “Dancing is my inner struggle.”

It’s 5 past 11. Well, it’s supposed to be. I’m blogging in the evening of a Friday when people would have left, streaming towards the pubs, ready for their foamy heads.

Today’s blogpost title originates from a dancer’s profile status on a social meetup group. And oh, how true it is. It’s been a while since I last blogged (or maybe not too long ago, maybe) and quite a few things have happened.

I spent a good part of a week cramming my brains with dance terminology and drowning myself in dance moves and demo videos on repeat. I wrote down my moves on paper, repeatedly, hoping that some of it would stick. I would get home, absolutely exhausted at 11p.m. at night and I would wake up the next morning feeling like I had a baseball bat taken to my body and I have had more screwdrivers than was wise. Thanks Heavens for the Girlfriend, who kept me sane and kept me company all throughout that ordeal.

It ended with an equally exhausting test which took a good part of an hour and a half which required me to demonstrate, teach, and re-teach 9 moves with key points or technique tips and then run an imaginary class session with a loud, proud, and “way bigger than myself” image. After that day, I took two days off work to rest, recuperate, and bring myself back down to earth. It was exhilarating, fatiguing but not for once did I not enjoy it. Yes, it was stressful. Yes, it made my mind boggle and I froze when I could not remember my technique tips or when I stepped left foot to turn counterclockwise for the high first when it was supposed to be right foot behind left to mimic the ladies. But dear heavens, in a long long time, I carried my notes in my bag and read them until they looked like an old buried treasure map that had seen too much water damage. I pored over written transcripts of the Head Teacher’s demo videos, explanation points, and imagined myself in his shoes. My temporary personal motto morphed from “I am the Master of my Fate, the Captain of my Soul” to “WWTD" (What would Tim Do?)

I taught to my mirror, I critiqued myself, I filmed and received as much feedback from my fellow teachers, whom will now be addressed as Goofy Girl and Silent Chick. I yelled out loud and proud, “Now, it’s your turn! 5, 6, 7, 8!” over and over again until I think I mumbled it once or twice in my sleep.

And after all of that, did I mention that it was the most fun I have had studying in a long while?

*****

Today, the cityscape of Merlion City was covered in a nice, thick, smoky haze that reminded me of the State of Emergency in Sarawak in 1997.