Enough of the story concocting that I do so much of. I make it happen with a breath. With a gesture of a hand, with a smile or a raised eyebrow.
Enough of this.
You know how sometimes, we each have our own battles, our own little private wars that we fight on a daily basis? Yeah. That one. And sometimes, we get a little tired? And sometimes, we just choose not to say anything, to maintain the peace, to think that we need to tough it out, to outlive it, that doing this will be the easier way? And sometimes, it is the easier way. But sometimes, it isn't. So how would you know whether the path that you've chosen is the easier one?
Humans are lazy by nature. Ever since we learned that all we really needed to do was to save enough energy to outrun the sabretooth tiger and have enough reserves to do the horizontal mambo and propagate our species, we've always tried finding another way to do things. Hence, why I'm typing this on a keyboard, having learned computer skills to maximise my typing capabilities rather than scribbling this on papyrus or a stone tablet with a quill or a knife. Always the easy way out.
Lucky that I was never auditioned for the role of Neo in Matrix. I would have chosen the blue pill any day. Thanks, Morpheus, but I really do enjoy my steak. I would have made a good Cypher.
I went to a few friends' graduation ceremony the other day. I would have uploaded pictures but I'm not quite sure where my phone cable is and to be perfectly honest, the last two posts that I wrote about graduation and the emotions that I experienced then compared to this other day when I hugged my friends congratulations was completely the opposite.
I was absolutely psyched up.
I was so excited for these friends of mine who are graduating, who are stepping out into the working world as junior doctors and physiotherapists and dentists and medlab scientists and that their whole world lies ahead of them. So full of promise. So full of life and excitement and wonder and laughter and mystery. Good on them. They've done well.
And I'm surprised I didn't even adopt the whole "cynic" perspective, where I would criticize and say, "Welcome to working life. You're going to hate clocking in and out and having long days and working night shifts. And oh, you don't get 3 month holidays anymore. You get no more supported study and guess what? Your student loan? Yeah. I know."
But no. I was nice. And I was excited for everyone who donned their gown and trencher.
Was just going through my old blog and I found this. Maybe this might answer some questions in future.
What makes you happy?
For me, its a combination of little little things. Its getting in a dance in an impromptu moment. Its perfecting a song down to the last beat. Its feeling the pervading passion of a dance. Its eating indomee at 3pm with a perfectly fried egg and getting the awesome first bite. Its Maccas at 3am in the morning with a Big Mac Attack. Its watching a sunset with someone who truly matters. Its stealing a kiss in the morning and seeing her smile. Its holding hands, never mind the sweatiness, never mind the stares or the looks or the gossip. Its watching a movie and having her snuggle up close. Its feeling free after exams. Its laughing until you can't breathe. Its doing a random spin down the street and smiling at the people smiling bemusedly back at you. Its talking with a close friend and saying nothing really worth saying but its all worth it anyway. Its running away for a 3 hour period and its all good. Lunch on the waterfront. Its a moment where I'm just lying on the couch, content. Its on the dance floor, heart pounding, sweating pouring down and I smile at you and you smile at me and its being lost in the moment, lost in the beat.
I'm excited for what life has to offer. I am. I really am.
Am I?
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