Stupefied

Dory asked me today, "Do you still dread work?"

And for once, I sat there, with no willing answer coming to mind.

My final response was, "Um...I'll have to blog about it."

[typical, right?]

At present, I think its not so much about the question of whether I dread work or not.

To deny this would be telling a lie. However, to speak in the affirmative isn't exactly telling the truth, either. So I'm stuck in a bit of a quandary.

In the end, I think its not really about whether I dread work or not.

My initial reply to her question was, "Well....dread is a rather strong word. But I'm not sure if detest or despise is any better...LOL."

And to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure what is the right answer.

At best, it probably would be apathy. Its come to a point where I don't care.

Its not exactly a nice place to be, not caring. Was reading a sales book the other night and it mentioned that being in the sales world, you have to be passionate about what you do. If not, you'll struggle. Heaps. Purely from the aspect that a sales role is tough enough that if you don't find something to like it for, you'll end up hating it. And pretty quickly too.

I like to console myself by telling my brain mentally that first and foremost, I am a therapist, a salesperson later. And regarding not caring, if you're a therapist and you see people and people's aches and pains are your concern and bread and better, you better be damned passionate about what is going on.

But I have reached a point where I'm mostly going...meh.

There's more for me to do, I'm sure. There's more for me to get excited about.

But what?

Hm.

But I guess...this is the problem when you get too involved in something. When you get so enthusiastically involved in something, only to see it fall to bits, staggering on the edge of the cliff. Then you start to wonder. What is it for? Everyone seems to be abandoning ship. Why stay? I'm no violinist on the Titanic.

So to answer your question, Dory, I don't dread going to work. I just care about a paycheck. Nothing more.

And I hope Heaven never lets you get to that same point in life like the one I'm in now.