Back here.

I've been back in the Land of the Long White Cloud for a few days now and again, it doesn't seem like much has changed. Everything seems to stay oddly stagnant in this town apart from what people that have remained are telling me.

From what I have heard so much of in the past year, nothing has happened. Good ole Dunners survived the Rugby World Cup (and won it too!) with not a sign of a hitch. No changes, no disturbances. Everything still remains the same.

All the shopping malls, all the sights, all the old haunts, still the same. Maybe slightly more tired, more weary. The weather has been absolutely atrocious, making me long desperately for some hot Merlion City weather. Heat and humidity any day, darling. Any day at all.

The family is all right. Brother seems to grow up another inch or so, the sisters are in new relationships, the Higher Authorities just the same. Friends that have chosen to remain here tell me of new achievements in their professional careers, new plans to embark on, new things in their lives.

Gosh, I always find it so scary that people's lives actually continue and that I can completely lose sight of it.

A lot of talk in the family recently has been along the lines of what is going to be happening next in future regarding careers, whatnot. Everyone seems to have a plan of sorts under their belt. Whereas for me...I still find I'm lingering on the water's edge rather than jumping in.

Truth be told, I have no real plans at all. Apart from staying at the company and continuing to sell shoes for them, I'm not sure what is going to be happening next. I don't really wish to continue this line of study if I can avoid it. I'll definitely be keen to look at doing some way or form of business if I ever get the chance. But other than that, I guess its just same old, really.

A friend once told me that I have no aim in life. And now, after typing that sentence, I wonder if she was a friend. Hm.

But to be fair, after coming back here and seeing everything as it is, I think I know quite certainly that I do not want to come back and live here. Not voluntarily, anyway. This city feels like a city of the left behind, of stagnation, as bad as it sounds. Maybe others don't see it that way.

But for me, this place reminds me more of things I would rather not remember and things I would be more than happy to leave behind.

Guess I'm still trying to find that certain happy place out there. Wherever that is.