Blessings.

I sometimes think of what I'm writing here on this blog and I wonder whether I'm writing for the sake of filling some pages or am I writing this as an outlet - an unleashing of my thoughts and my unspoken words.

I had a chat to the Higher Authorities yesterday and I must admit that it was one of those talks that kept me very happy and enthusiastic about my life here so far.

Personally, I have always wondered whether, if I had pursued a different path, whether or not I would have gotten more "blessings" on it.

Now, that's actually a really Christian thing to say so for some people who are a bit lost about what I'm talking about, let's do a bit of an explanation. It may be a bit simple and probably it's just me who thinks this but hey, to get a better overall picture regarding this blog post, see if this works.

For those non-Christian readers, in Christianity, one really big thing for us if we embark to do something or go somewhere is to get divine approval, hence "blessings." It could be a "go to church and pray that God smiles upon this mission/act/whatever" and that "circumstances will lead you to God's favour."

Now, I'm also of Asian descent and I think it's really important to have the blessings/favour from the parents as well to say that they agree with my decision and that I am going ahead with their well wishes. For Caucasians or people who are probably a bit less traditionally minded and more liberal in their thinking, you may be thinking, "WHATEVER FOR?" Well, here's a new way of doing things so here's a good chance to take some notes.

It could be a luck thing, I guess. Some people have suggested that these well wishes/blessings/favour upon this may be a kind of a chance thing that whatever I am doing will go more smoothly or successfully just because I've got this additional "+10" blessing thing going on. Reminds me of those RPG games where you can change your luck by casting a particular magic spell or get healed by the healer/priest/magic caster unit.

I think it's important, anyway.

This reminds me of a scene out of the old classic, "Fiddler on the Roof" where Perchik asks for Hodel's hand in marriage and he says, "I'm not asking for permission. I'm only asking for your blessing."

I digress.

When I first planned to come to Merlion City in the hopes of a better paying job and a different life outside of WangaVegas, I never really had any particular prior approval on this world-gallivanting adventure. Talking to the Higher Authorities, they were always very skeptical of me moving out of Aotearoa and they wanted me to stay in NZ and do the whole hospital job thing and/or possibly move down to Dunners to be with the family. Any potential talk of Merlion City was "forbidden" and I would be asked to discuss my options within Aotearoa at that point in time.

When the time came, I felt as though I left with a bad taste in my mouth and the ensuing "dissatisfaction" of the folks. They would occasionally talk about how I could leave the country when they just migrated over and how it would be nice to have the family together, la dee da, the usual.

But I was ready for a change. And I wanted something different. I didn't want  to stay in Wangas. I felt that I was rotting away day by day. And as much as I had cuban salsa and I had my room and my comfort zone, I had enough.

So I moved.

It's been a crazy six months.

I spoke to GoofyGirl six months ago. She remembered me from the first time we danced together in 2011 when I first went to the dance workshop with the Ceroc teachers. She asked if I wanted to get involved with the setup of ceroc in Merlion City. We would need to take part in teacher training and then after that, we would be getting it up and running. Scary thoughts.

I discussed with the Higher Authorities regarding this. I was keen but cautious. After all, we're all young and technically, I'd never set up a business before and wanted to just dampen my toes before I jumped in the pool.

And unsurprisingly, there wasn't too much support with the whole dancing career thing either.

Putting down slightly more than a grand and a half was my sign of commitment that I was serious about this. No, I didn't want GoofyGirl to pay for it. The Higher Authorities played the Devil's Advocate. I was upset and frustrated.

And then, at the end of the day, I thought to myself, "Stuff it."

Dancing and teaching dance has always been a hidden passion. I danced, sure, people knew that, but to tell them that I aspire to dance and teach dancing every single day, every single moment? That took guts and a bit more than just lip service.

I transferred the money and told myself that I am going to make the most out of this experience.

And I did. And heck, it's been one hell of a ride.

I've had so much fun since ceroc started up in Merlion City. It's crazy. Tuesdays cut the week in half and I'm waking up on Wednesday morning itching for another session. Too bad there isn't one available. We're having ceroc socials and events and pub crawls and workshops and I've been asked to do my 2nd private lesson along with another lady who wants to improve her technique. How can I NOT enjoy what I'm doing?

Chatting with GoofyGirl recently at a dance party that we were out at recently, she mentioned to me that if ceroc ever made it big and rich in Merlion City and I wanted to quit my job, she would hire me as Dance Director on the spot.

[On that note, though, I did tell the Higher Authorities that I appreciated the fact that they played the Devil's Advocate and that they stopped me back in the day from going out on a limb and starting a dance business stat. I'm no organizer and my work is shoddy. That said, I love dancing and teaching. So GoofyGirl and I are a pretty good team, if I do say so myself.]

I've told the Higher Authorities about the excitement that's coming up out of this and the one thing that they told me, that shook me to my very core, was "Maybe I should take out some money and give it to you to invest in this business."

For me, that was my "blessing." And after a long, soul searching talk with the Sociologist last night, I realised that it's not about luck. Or approval. It's not about getting an unfair advantage over the competition.

It's about knowing you're on my side. Knowing that you've got my back on this. And I guess, that's all I ever wanted.