Honesty...

...such a lonely word

Everyone is so untrue

Honesty is hardly ever heard

And mostly what I need from you.

 

It's funny how I sometimes feel as though I'm never truly ever honest with myself.

 

And I feel as though as much as my blog was supposed to be this hidden place where I can spill my secrets and tell hush-hush things to without being jumped on and pounded. Although I am fully aware of the fact that I have given this address to several privileged [hehe] people and that all my dirty little secrets are never dirty little secrets.

 

I don't think I'm honest with this blog.

No, its not that I've been lying on this blog. I think, on this blog, I tell all and say all. I'm honest. For sure. But what I'm NOT doing is I'm not telling it things.

 

In short, I've not been blogging enough.

 

Lack of blogging material? Please. I have plenty. Its just that I've never thought that any of it was good enough to be immortalised on the Net.

 

Plus, I've got a whole travel diary to upload as well although I'm really wondering about the kind of readership that I'll be getting.

 

Interesting, really, this whole concept of blogging. On one hand, I want to become well-read and commented on by heaps of people, even people I have no clue existed. However, on the other hand, I'm afraid that suddenly, I'll be catapulted into the spotlight, the glaring beam that exposes all and that my life is suddenly for public scrutiny. Oh wait. It is already because I blog.

 

I want to find that equilibrium point. Or at least find myself comfortable in one place or the other, whether its private contentment in my online obscurity or basking in the warm sun of Internet publicity.

 

I've had a few people tell me that they really enjoy reading my blog and thus, I should update more often. I am always a bit hesitant to do so as I don't know what will happen if I do. I know. It's stupid. And I don't make sense.

 

A lot of things will happen in the next few months, some of which include me moving away from this place where I have "voluntarily" resided for two years, a new job, a new place, a whole different experience, a potential chance to dance more and more, and honesty. Plenty of it.

 

I'm excited at the prospects. I honestly can't wait.