And it begins.

The next step. The next part of the journey.

I got a call today from the head therapist that I’ll be working with and the Ministry of Manpower a.k.a. MoM has finally decided to give me the green light in terms of working in Singapore. I guess this part of the plan is now in motion.

I rang the Girlfriend up and she was all squealing and excited about it and she asked me whether I was thrilled to be going. And apparently, the way I answered her wasn’t as enthusiastic as I was supposed to be.

Does this mean that I’m not interested? Does it perhaps mean, deep down inside, that I want to remain here? In NZ? In my comfort zone? Some psychologists would probably be more than happy to tell me that or deeply analyse me for some reason or rather.

So honestly, Poet. What is it?

I am thrilled. I am excited. But its probably just because I’ve waited too damn long for everything to happen that its just become something that was supposed to have happened ages ago but only just happened now (true story of my life, btw.)

The Girlfriend once commented that I usually display quite a cool and calm demeanour – as in I don’t usually react in a BIG way towards anything in particular. [That aside, if it was something dancing related, I would be as bad as if not worse than a screaming chimpanzee being offered a container load full of bananas.] But I’m probably the kind of person that doesn’t get nervous until the day itself approaches. I work myself up and then when the day actually arrives…I’m in some sort of zen-like state. I am suddenly at peace with everything. Funnily enough.

I used to experience this when I represented my state division in public speaking, or in my school debate team or when I was conducting the choir. It would be all nerves and butterflies and then when I step on stage, everything would just go quiet. Its just me, the microphone, the audience, and my voice which I had to enchant and weave a spell and make magic happen. Probably the same way which I dance, I guess. Just me, my dance partner, the music, and my hands, my feet, and body, to make magic happen.

I love this film, The Legend of Bagger Vance. If you haven’t clicked on the video, please do so. Will Smith’s character, Bagger Vance, tells Matt Damon’s character, Rannulph Junuh, that he needed to see the field. What a beautiful way to put it. I guess, in terms of dance, perhaps it is to move to the music, to see the dance as not just putting footwork and handholds to beats and rhythm and music, its to let the music and the beats and the rhythm move us. But I think, when I’m finally there, I am at peace with everything. I have made my peace with my stomach, with my nerves, with the part of my mind that asks me, “Why the HECK are you doing this again?”

So here I am again. Back to square one. Have I found what I’m looking for? Has my extensive soul searching process brought up anything worthwhile? Um. Not quite. If anything, it probably highlighted the fact that I can be incredibly stupid and filled with nonsensical ideas.

For example, the things I would miss about NZ when I move over.

Mostly food, as can probably be seen from my expanding waistline plus the atrocious fact that I’ve already piled on 6 blooming kilos in 8 or so weeks. That’s what happens when parents and bumming around and a really bad diet and a decrease in exercise happens. That’s nearly a kilo a week! Talk about dedication to the cause *pats jiggling tummy bits*

Like pies. And sausage rolls. And NZ full cream milk. And fish and chips.

Like these ones.

This, in my personal opinion, is one of the BEST fish and chips in the entirety of Dunners. Courtesy of The Flying Squid, whose fish is always crispy as hell and chips salted to perfection and never disappoint but who also have raised their price from NZD$2.90 to NZD$4.00 in the past 5 years. Damn you, inflation rates!

And jokes aside, such a BIG move in life also demands some important promises. For example…

I go from this…

To this…

And just to throw a few things into the mix, I’m not going to be cutting my hair. For an ENTIRE year. The Brother, who cracks me up and may he always be the better, improved, and 1000x better version of me, has also sworn to do the same thing. This will definitely be interesting when we meet again in about a year’s time.

But for now, its late, I’m sleepy and a nice cosy pillow beckons.

Night, y’all.