Drink.

With each sip, the world seems to spin away.

It slithers on my tongue, lightly scorching, tempting the tastes of fire and then ebb away as I let it linger on the back of my throat, down, down, down, until it mingles with whatever I had for dinner. A comfortable heat simmers in the depths of my tummy. Mmm. Sake is good sh|t.

My first glass of sake was captured above as I proclaimed to my friends that this was the first time I would be consuming this liquor and I steadied myself for something akin to vodka or rum or bourbon or whisky.

But the sake is surprisingly mild. “Well, good sake is supposed to be,” so says the seasoned drinkers, who don’t blink an eyelid and enjoy three bottles in a row. The hostess bows her delight as we compliment her on the wonderful brew and she tells us that there are even milder ones with even less of an alcoholic kick but I decline. My weakness to alcoholic beverages increase when I can’t seem to taste the damn alcohol.

Sip, they tell me. Don’t chug. “Sake is not beer.”

But the alcohol starts seeping into my brain cells, probably killing a lot more than what I’m usually used to. I begin to take each cup like a shot, throwing it back and placing the delicate cup with probably a bit more force than I need to. Conversation flows like fine wine, smooth. Teddy Bear, Mummy G’s boy shares with me jokes that I laugh hysterically over. He’s good company, man. Good company.

The shoot-the-breeze takes a serious tone as we talk about the future and the uncertainties it holds. We mention ways of dealing with negativity, fear, frustration, disappointment, and sometimes, just damn anger. It happens. And its okay.

And I think I’ve forgotten that.

Its okay. Its okay to fear. Its okay to be angry, its okay to want to fight and swear and protect me. ME. Its okay.

But we live to fight another day, as always. We live to survive, to endure mental Holocausts again and again because we are strong. What does not kill us will make us stronger. It will, really.

The take home message for me today – be a hero of your own silence or be a victim of your own aggression. The path is yours to choose but remember – if you’re ready to die now, then by all means, go out guns blazing. But if not and you don’t have your plan B just yet…fight to live so you can live to fight another day.

Yeah. It’s cool.