Slow. Down.

But I must confess, this cup of coffee this morning was the BOMB.

So I've fallen sick.

Yes. Boo hoo hoo, the Poet is sick and down with dreaded MAN FLU. Funnily enough, at least 8 people "liked" my status when I stated that I had man-flu. What's up with liking when someone is ill? Me no comprende, amigo.

But having being laid ill since the night of the Asia Bachata Championships, it seemed as though the entire world slowed down. And no, I'm not trying to talk figuratively. It LITERALLY felt as though I was being told to shut the FSCK up, pipe down and rest.

So the dear awesome cosmic powers that be have decided that instead of trying to tell me via persons around me or by a big awesome flashing sign in the heavens above, they will strike me down instead with the man flu.

And as much as I hate the churning, cheese-grating feeling in my throat and the stuffiness haze in my head and nose and the slight nausea that floats around on the insides of my insides, I am learning to slow down.

Walking with the Girlfriend hand in hand around a shopping mall the other day and stopping to have Korean BBQ buffet, she looked at me and said, matter-of-factly, "You're eating really slowly today. It's nice. I don't have to tell you to stop gulping down your food."

And I replied, "Well, its this idiot cold. I can't get rid of it so I technically can't really taste my food."

But even so, right now at this present moment, even today, I have made a conscious effort to slow down. I am making an effort to walk slower, talk and make more sense, and probably the biggest thing of all (for me), to eat slower. I want to be able to savour everything a bit more carefully. I want to be able to appreciate all the things I tend to miss out on when I rush past my day and then start wondering what on earth happened.

So even today, with that awesome coffee, I made myself savour it. Instead of chugging it down like sake shots, I sipped. And sipped. And even forgot about it until about 30 minutes ago where I sipped a bit more and it tasted cold and gritty and all caffeine-y. It was awesome.

I'm in a bit of a tough spot emotionally at present. Being physically ill does tend to put a lot of things into perspective and being a health professional, we tend to know that being ill literally makes you ill figuratively too. But I'm looking for the bright spots and I'm trying to sort myself out. I wrote down what I needed to say to myself recently and then tore up the pieces of paper, feeling sort of better after it all. I've also decided to reflect a lot more on what I'm trying to say and how I say it, although I'm still feeling as though that's going down the drain quite rapidly.

Health-wise, I'm still battling it. And sometimes, I keep my fingers crossed and I hope that I come out on top.

I'm supposed to be the one person that used to pride myself on the fact that I am so laid-back. But I think I'm losing the battle, slowly and surely, to the lifestyle. To the pace of the frenetic, to the clicks and clacks of smartphones and the endless background symphony of headphones and earbuds all playing their individual tunes, while at the end of it all, I'm just wanting a little bit of quiet.

I desperately want to work out today to try and get the kinks and aches out of my body but I'm afraid at the retaliation that my immune-depressed body would want to offer me in return tomorrow morning. I have 3 patients all mine, all difficult coming in tomorrow and I'm going to have to try and see how I'm going to cope without copping out. Although, mind you, I desperately also want to take a sickie. I've not used my sickie leave and I think its about time me and sickie got acquainted.

So I'm sitting here. Watching. Waiting. Observing myself turn into some kind of creature that I never knew.

Hm.

Maybe I should blog more often. LOL.